EP-1: I Want to Die, but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

So, this is my first episode and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of figuring this out as I go. But I wanted to start this little space to talk about books I read and what they make me feel or think or remember. So the book I want to start with is called, I Want to Die, But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Beak Seehee. And I know the title sounds dramatic, but honestly, it's just honest. And the book is basically a series of therapy sessions between the author and her psychiatrist. She's dealing with dysthymia, it's kind of a low-grade depression. But she's also a working, functioning adult. She is meeting friends, she's doing life. And what I liked about this book is that it doesn't try too hard. It's just like a person trying to understand why she feels the way she feels. She's not always likeable, she's not always self-aware. But I think that makes it feel very relatable and real. And there are parts where she questions herself. And that really made me pause because I have had the same thoughts as well. And there is the foot, the Tteokbokki. I think it's a symbol of comfort maybe, of wanting to stay, of choosing something so small and warm and familiar. Even when your mind feels messy and the thought of death comes to your mind, you just stay in this world for that small little thing. It reminded me that joy doesn't have to be this big thing. And sometimes it's just ordering your favorite food and not overthinking it. So yeah, the book didn't fix anything for me, but it felt like company. Like someone sitting beside you, not saying it's okay, but just saying, yeah, I get it. So if that sounds like something you'd want to sit with for a while, maybe give it a read. Take your time with it. And it's the kind of a book that doesn't need to be finished in a rush. So yeah, thanks for being here. I'll be back with more books and thoughts. Until then, take care of your head and maybe eat something that makes you really, really happy. Thank you.