EP-6: My Dark Vanessa

Today, I want to talk about My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. And honestly, this was a lot. In a way that left me quite emotional and very sad after I finished reading it. It's about Vanessa, who at 15 gets into what she thinks is a relationship with her older teacher. And the whole book goes back and forth between her teenage years and her adult life when she starts questioning what really happened. It's not an easy read, and it's not meant to be. Because it's not about, you know, not just about abuse, it's about what it feels like to be inside that abuse and not even recognize it as abuse. It's about manipulation, guilt, power, in the way a young girl can be made to carry the weight of someone else's choices. And that's what shook me the most, how real it all felt. Vanessa doesn't speak like a perfect victim. She's messy. She's confused. And that's what makes her so believable and so heartbreaking. And I found myself angry when I was reading it as a teacher. But also the way Vanessa keeps trying to justify him. Even years later, even when she's clearly hurting, she somehow tries to justify her actions and his actions as well. So it made me think about how trauma doesn't always look like tears and breakdowns or silence because, you know, it's the only version that make it all feel like it mattered. The book doesn't wrap anything up. It doesn't give you healing. It just shows you the damage, layer by layer, and I think that's what makes it so powerful. So if you're deciding to read it, please go in prepared. It's very heavy. But if you ever want a story that doesn't look away, this is it. That's all for now. Thanks for listening. Be gentle with yourself today. I'll see you in the next one.